Is it just an expression of vanity that we use perfume?
Is our obsession with different scents just a way to make ourselves more interesting?
Does smelling good equal being self-absorbed?
My Answer:
Somebody recently accused me of being vain since I have and use so many different perfumes. I was not even offended, because I was so stunned. It had never occurred to me that my perfume obsession had to do with vanity. But it got me thinking…
That I own more than one lipstick,is vain,okay; that I do not leave the house without make up on, is vain, sure; that I take care of my skin by using SPF 50+ every day, maybe that is vain too (and it is also very sensible, I might add), but my perfumes? I thought I was safe there.
Surely that is about enhancing my mood, exploring and enjoying my fifth sense, collecting pieces of olfactory art. Surely that is not vanity? Or is it?
What are your thoughts?
Olfactoria's Travels 
I never think of other people when I choose a scent. I mean, I am careful not to overapply for the sake of those around me, but my love of fragrance is solely for my personal enjoyment.
Right you are, Caro!
I’m with you there, Caro. I wear perfume to smell it myself – it’s not about smelling good for other people, but to be transported to wherever the particular scent takes me, at regular intervals in the day. It adds a wonderful dimension and has many different roles: as a destressor, as a mini-break, as a complement to experiences (eg smoky perfumes on autumn days). In the same way I try smell as many things as I can in the day – it adds another wonderful and neglected dimension to life.
Hi Maggie,
you are so right, perfume and smells in general of course, add a wonderful dimension. Well put, thank you!
I have just spritzed myself with the undescribably beautiful Lyric Woman, just to go to sleep. The husband can enjoy it too, of course, but I wear it for myself.
Lyric is wonderful! Lucky husband. 🙂
Good morning! this is a very good question, which will put the rest of the day in perspective! I have thought about it, everytime I look at my numerous bottles :-); feeling a bit guilty of not putting this money to help others. To my mind, vanity is more related with material things, and the illusive nature of smell can hardly fit in that category, unless someone uses fragrances and portrays their bottle collections to receive compliments and admiration- which I sometimes do wittingly or unwittingly. Smell is an extremely important and acute sense for me, much more than for my close circle of family and friends. Perfumes have even helped me to overcome problems in life, or, intensified an already good feeling. Perfumes are art. Therefore, it’s almost a necessity to have some that characterise me and feed my soul- and to tell you the truth smelling good IS an act of sharing! But I have noticed that maybe I don’t need that many perfumes, and have to be very selective and responsible in the future. So my answer, is that as with all things, it depends on our intention and the way we use fragrances, because the energy we put in them determines whether it will be for vain purposes or because it comes out naturally. All that said with a few sprays of Bois de Violette! Have a great start of the week!
Thank you for your thoughtful answer, Alexandra! Perfume to feed the soul, that is a phrase I will remember, for it resonates with me.
Have a great week too! 🙂
What a dreadful accusation . I am not thinking only of myself when buying fragrance . I like that I can spread a little art around as an aura. I like the cool feelings on hot days, spice and reminders of Summers roses on Winter days. I love the work of the nose and marvel at the genius of many of them. Anyone who thinks perfume is an easy art is very wrong. I love the bottles often when I can’t afford them ( has anyone else lusted after Xerjoff bottles ?). It’s about wanting to smell good too but not everyone who smells me will like it. I don’t wear make-up anymore but when I did it was more about the colours than vanity after all you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear and I am some sow!
First and foremost, dear Angie, you are certainly no sow!
Art as an aura, how beautiful, in every comment is a wonderful phrase to remember, I am writing them all down!
I like the small Murano glass Xerjoff bottles, but that will remain a dream forever. 😉
I guess who ever said that was obviously jealous. 🙂
I would never call it vain, enjoying perfumes. Perhaps sometimes snobbish the way we tend to ignore mainstream and go for more hard to find but never vain.
How can trying to teach your nose enjoyment of the world around us be vain?
Is it vain having a collector hobby?
You are probably right about the jealousy.
Your view is lovely, “teaching the nose the enjoyment of the world around us”. Another perfect description of what we love. Thank you! 🙂
I can appreciate the comments from the person who said this to you. It can appear, on the surface, an act of vanity, but I really do believe, vanity is more “skin deep” than people think. It’s how you feel about yourself that is true vanity, and how you reflect that on the outside makes you appear vain to others. Does owning a million songs make you vain for loving something so passionately? Probably not, you’re just a music nut. Does owning galleries upon galleries of paintings make you vain? No, you’re just incredibly rich and love looking at paintings. So to own a handful (or more) of perfume is hardly any more of a crime than the above two scenarios.
Collecting beautiful things is certainly not vain. I am glad all your comments make that so clear and give me an arsenal of arguments.
Given that I enjoy wearing perfumes like Annick Goutale Sables, Maitre Parfumeur et Gantier Route du Vetiver, Olivier Dourbano Black Tourmaline (which have quite often been described as “difficult” to say the least) I guess I am automatically off the hook for being vane. I definitely do not wear perfume to fish compliments.
I wear perfume to be transported to a mood that I want, to enhance the mood that I have or to recall a past memory associated with an olfactory stimulation. I guess the tagline of my blog fully expresses me. To paraphrase the definition of perfume, “Perfume: a mixture of fragrant essential oils and aroma compounds, fixatives, and solvents used to create, modify and recall memories”
Of course when a friend did a rough calculation of how much my collection costs and he came up with 5 digits I felt so ashamed that I totally blocked the number out of my mind and forbid him to ever mention it again. But there are so many people out there spending a lot more for an SUV they don’t need. Or as much for a handbag that serves only as a social status emblem and nobody ever dared accusing them f being vane. That is food for thought for your friend. Did he accuse you of being vane only because your “vice” is inaccessible to him both mentally and emotionally. In other terms, is he a bigot? LOL
Thank you for your point of view, Christos. I wholeheartedly agree!
I think you might be onto something when you say the friend does not “get” our passion both mentally and emotionally. Hehe. 😉
But what’s wrong with vanity?
I don’t mean the kind of vanity that would prevent a person from taking a good look at how they behave because the cannot BEAR to consider the possibility that they’re not perfect. Not that kind of vanity.
But the kind of vanity that makes us take care of our teeth, our hair, our skin, even the way we smell. I can’t see anything wrong with that. To me it’s about self-preservation, about caring enough about ourselves to do those things. When that kind of self-preservation starts to disappear or diminish it’s usually a sign that something is not right in our lives, health wise or otherwise, and some people when they get older start to neglect themselves. Not a good thing.
So my answer would be, yes, perhaps it’s vain. And that’s a good thing 😀
It is vanity in the sense you describe, taking care of ourselves and doing something for our wellbeing. And it is so much more as well, like the commenters above pointed out already. And that is a good thing indeed! 🙂
Yes, perfume is an art; Angie is right about that, but I’m reasonably certain she is no sow! And Ines has hit upon something interesting–jealousy as a motive for the accusation. I don’t believe it is vain to collect, wear & love perfume, unless the motivation is to somehow make other people admire us more for doing so.
Years ago, I was actually accused of being “selfish” by my (former) employer because I didn’t have, nor did I plan to have children! People can say the most irrational things without realizing it.
I’ve heard that one, too, about children. Back in the days when I still bothered to reply to such statements, my standard reply was that you can only be selfish in relation to people who actually exixt. Children you don’t have you cannot possibly be selfish towards. Irrational, indeed. And many such statements are caused, I think, by jealosy, unrealized by that person, or by (and it seems that’s getting worse these days) a curious need to moralize on other people’s behalf. Moralizing is best done – and most efficiently as well – in relation to oneself.
I certainly don’t wear and collect perfume for others, I don’t even tell people usually.
I heard that stupid selfishness idea about children a lot too, I didn’t plan to have any either (well, that has changed 😉 ), like Marie, I am sure that has to do with jealousy or envy.
Vanity involves caring for yourself far more than caring for others. Think about the work you do, in your professional life and family life. You are certainly NOT vain! And I wish I’d worn more 50spf years ago, I wouldn’t be battling skin cancer now! (I still forget to put the sunscreen on, though, I’m hopeless, though not vain!)
Thank you, Marla! 🙂
I am so sorry to hear about the skin cancer, I hope you are well now and stay that way. Living in Florida must not be easy in that resepct, so much sun, every day…
Actually I don’t think that caring for yourself and trying to feel good is vanity…….
I don’t think so either! 🙂
Vanity? Wow. Never would have thought that, ever! I view it as hedonistic – the love of pleasure. I love food and wine in the same way I love perfume. It speaks to my senses, and I can’t get enough. It’s sheer enjoyment. Nothing to do with vanity. Vanity implies I’m seeking attention and compliments for the perfumes I wear. As Caro said above, I wear them for me. In fact, when I go out, I take care to wear scent very discretely. I’d hate to offend anyone or invade their space. I realize that we perfumistas are rare, and others don’t often appreciate wafting sillage!!!
OK, now I’m second guessing it. By saying “I wear it for me” does that me I’m too self-focused and vain???? Hmmm. When we do something for enjoyment, does that = vanity? Here’s a definition from Webster’s:
1: having no real value : idle, worthless
2: marked by futility or ineffectualness : unsuccessful, useless
3 archaic : foolish, silly
4: having or showing undue or excessive pride in one’s appearance or achievements : conceited
I can see how some may view loving perfume as “idle, worthless” but that gets back to hedonism – loving pleasure. Pleasure has no end in itself than to make us feel good. It’s not saving the world from poverty or anything. I’ve often thought of this myself on occasion. Is my enjoyment of perfume taking away from more noble pursuits? But wait a minute. That implies that we should live as martyrs. And to me, that’s selfish, too. “Look at me – I’m sacrificing my life for others – aren’t I pious?” Why did God create us with a sense of smell if we weren’t supposed to take pleasure from it??? Smelling a rose gives us nothing but pleasure – that’s a good thing!!!
Thanks for taking the time to look up the word, Karin.
There are things to make us feel good that follow no other purpose and that is a good thing indeed without necessitating any of the above definitions. 🙂
I fully agree with your hedonism definition, although I was raised to frown upon that, and have since been rebelling against such puritanism by living extra-hedonistic, and maybe indulging in perfume is part of that.
Lots of good answers and perspectives here. I think that my desire to wear fragrances is purely for my enjoyment. I never use more than two spritzes of any fragrance, so the scent stays close to me. I buy and wear what I want, not to impress anybody or smell like someone else wants. I figure if this makes me vain, then that is not such a bad thing.
Yes, I am so impressed with the thoughtful comments here!
We perfume lovers are a wonderful group.
And I think we all wear perfume for our own enjoyment first and foremost, vain or not – it is a great hobby! 🙂
Hah, I’m very curius to know what kind of person thinks it’s vain to have more than one perfume. Or any parfum at all. Is he living in a cave,and spending his days with meditation ? Then I’d very much respect him and even take on his critisism. But only then.
Just as I wake up with a more/less different mood every day, and wear different clothing – I dare to wear a different parfum as well. I do it for myself – not for the people around me. And therefore I don’t think I’m vain. And I don’t think that owning several lipsticks make me vain either …
Lol, no cave in sight for my friend… 😉
Different perfumes reflect different sides of me. Perfumistas are very complex people! 😉
I agree with other commenters that the fact you own a lot of perfume just means you like perfume – a lot! Of course, it’s great to be complimented on your scent but that’s such a rare occurrance I think most of us would have given up by now if that was our main motivation! If anything, I would say your collection (which I imagine to be pretty wonderful) marks you out as someone who truly loves the art form and NOT someone who just sprays on any old thing in order to smell nice to others.
Thank you for those nice words, Tara! And I agree with every one of them. 🙂
It sounds to me like someone was throwing a punch where they knew it would hurt. Here we have a woman who gives herself to others (husband, children, patients, even blog-audience!), and the one thing that she does for her own pleasure (wearing and writing about perfume) is attacked. That was a low blow, from someone who does not have friendly intentions towards you.
Vanity is an accusation of the self-righteous. As Marie said so well, “Moralizing is best done – and most efficiently as well – in relation to oneself.” Am I vain? Yes, very much so. I want to be healthy and beautiful, and I want the things around me to be healthy and beautiful, because being surrounded by beauty lifts my spirits. When I’m happy, the people around me are more happy, so that’s my little contribution to making the world a better place! 🙂
Dee, my good friend, you nailed it once more. The first paragraph is most probably true and the second one is such an honest and adorably open statement, I just love it and could not agree more.
Thank you! 🙂
Thank you Bee. I love that you love this vain, selfish, yet adorable person. LOL! 😉
xoxoxo 🙂
I don’t think enjoying something beatiful (like perfume) or your own health and vitality is vanity as such-that’s just savoring life. To my mind vanity comes when the glossy, shiny surface of things take predecence over important matters like caring for others.
For myself I enjoy perfume in the same way I enjoy music and if we can’t enjoy beauty there would be little point in going on living to my mind!
Absolutely! Thanks for your input, Eva!
I know I’m late to the discussion. But this is how my mind works and why I do not like blogs: for any serious topic I need a day or two to think, to process the information and form an opinion. And by the time I’m ready everybody has moved on. I will still write my thoughts – even if it’s only for you know I haven’t just ignored the question.
This topic was one of those where I’ve read with interest not only the initial posting but all the comments as well. In general, I agree with most things that others said. But something was bothering me, I kept thinking about it.
Whoever “accused” you was wrong, first of all, formally: if we were to consider a use of any cosmetics/perfumes/etc. as a vain behavior (it’s a separate topic to discuss, but let’s just assume for that logical exersise that we agree on the thesis) then it wouldn’t matter how many of those items you possess – one or hundred, and he/she had no reason to connect the size of your collection and your usage habits to that trait. On the other hand, if we were to connect the quantitative evaluation to the vain behavior, the fact of owning itself cannot constitute the behavior – not unless you walk around telling everybody how many thousands per month you spend on your collection, which, I’m sure, you don’t. Using a lot of different perfumes could be view as a vain behavior – if only the world around us would have recognized it as a desirable status symbol. But it doesn’t!
Even if assume we all are wrong in our explanations, even if you were vain, it’s better than to be jealous and bitter. It is sad that there is a person in your surroundings who feels this way. But don’t let it get to you!
Undina, I am glad you chime in. This medium is very short-lived, one day and everyone moves on, but I love getting your response whenever you are ready. Thank you that you are taking the time and making the effort. 🙂
Your answer is excellent,and you are absolutely right! I think this accusation was made in the spirit of jealousy, and not even of perfume but something else entirely, and the perfume got the hit.
I don’t fret about that, but I thought it was a good question to pose, and all your thoughtful answers proved me right!
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