Monday Question: How Do You Mend A Broken Heart – With Perfume?

A friend of mine had her heart broken recently and I think we all know the feeling. I thought I could use all your input on what perfume would be right one to make her feel more secure, more loved, happier and maybe even conjure a smile onto her face?

Which perfume is the most comforting when you feel sad and rejected?

Which perfume takes you in its arms and helps you through bad times?

Which perfume can mend a broken heart?

question-markMy Answer:

Oh my, I always realize how hard my questions are when it comes to answering them myself…

To comfort and console I would go for a good dose of Nabucco Amytis, it wraps you in a shroud of warm vanillic solace.

For a healthy wallop of chocolate (always good for heartbreak!!!) I’ll take Guerlain Gourmand Coquin.

To brace myself and stand tall in the face of rejection, I know exactly what is good for me: Vero Profumo Onda. For those who don’t like it (and there are many, it is a polarizing scent), Chanel N°19 would be a good option.

What do you say?


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64 Responses to Monday Question: How Do You Mend A Broken Heart – With Perfume?

  1. Sandra says:

    I am so sorry for your friend. I love your choices and would even add Casamorati Lira or Guerlain SDV for the wonderful comfort they provide.

  2. behemot says:

    I will simply advise no perfume for a while. Whatever she chooses now, she will eventually hate because of the bad associations. And i know what I am saying, really.
    There are some situations where one can get a lot of comfort from a perfume, but not this one, at least not right now.. But this is just my opinion..

    • Olfactoria says:

      That is very good thinking, behemot! But she wants the comfort of a fragrance right now and not to underscore the emptiness of all of a sudden going scentless, when she has lost so much already. I guess whatever she wears now, she won’t want to wear ever again, but that doesn’t matter, there are many more out there – which goes for perfumes as well as men. 😉

      • behemot12 says:

        Yes, you are right, Olfactoria. There are many perfumes and men out there 🙂
        Maybe she can try Coromandel? I would also recommend reading Kevin’s review of Coromandel on Now Smell This, because it is great and very funny.

  3. Jordan River says:

    Yes, I agree with behemot. Fragrance-free until the next date, then Seville a l’aube for that moment in the future. Regards to your friend. Or if your friend cannot do fragrance-free then they explore Juliette has a Gun; perfume as armour as opposed to amor.

  4. Marie says:

    I feel so sorry for your friend – if she can get her hands on it, Fendi Theorema has helped me through such a time, I highly recommend it!

  5. Lady Jane Grey says:

    Nabucco Amytis would be my choice for her as well. Its softness envelopes you – it’s like a comforting whisper. However, IMO the best for broken hearts is Music…

  6. I’ve got 2 friends who’ve had their hearts broken at around this time as well, so this is a very pertinent question… if only perfume could mend broken hearts! I’d go with Guerlain’s Après l’Ondée because amidst the tears there is a shy smile.

  7. Nana says:

    So sorry for your friend B, A broken heart is hard to mend but time will take care of that…
    my suggestion is to use a perfume with notes of orange because the essence of oranges has anti-depressants properties. I agree with Jordan on Seville a l’aube, perhaps something a little lighter to use in summer Aqua di Parma Arancia di Capri and for something a bit more sophisticated in the evening By Kilian Sweet Redemption…the end!

  8. Ines says:

    Hmm, I would suggest Timbuktu for easing the suffering of the soul and mind (I find it calming).
    To bring your inner flighty romantic back to play – Honore de Pres Vamp a NY.
    To hide your suffering from the world and give you a shield, Paestum Rose by Eau d’Italie.
    Perfume equivalent of a warm hug – Eau d’Ambre by L’Artisan.

    Hope your friend is better soon.

  9. annemariec says:

    I went out and bought a bottle of Diorissimo when my husband walked out. It did not mend the broken (and furiously angry) heart but it was a fine assertion of independence. Much healthier than chocolate and a lot of other substances people often turn to in times of stress! And the idea of sewing dead fish into the hems of the curtains just sounded like too much trouble … 🙂

    I like Ines’ idea about the inner flighty romantic. Tocade might also do it – romantic AND comforting (all that vanilla!).

    • annemariec says:

      Actually the mention of fish reminds me of a great revenge story I once heard, second or third hand (not sure if it is true). It involved letting fish sit in a bucket of water for many days, and then tipping the water into the ex-lover’s car. Not just anywhere, but into that little furry slot where the windows wind up and down. The smell could not be eradicated (or its source discovered, even) and the car had to be written off. So cunning!

    • Olfactoria says:

      Good for you, Annemarie! An assertion of independence is just what is needed at such a moment.
      I’m glad this experience lies far behind you now.

  10. Tara says:

    In aromatherapy, rose makes you feel loved so my suggestion is PG’s Rose de Brulure. The rose for love and the added caramel for the comfort factor.

    Hope your friend finds a fragrance to help ease her broken heart. Sending a big hug her way.

  11. It’s an odd fragrance that is not for everybody, but if she likes it I would recommend Slumberhouse Jeke. When I wear it, it literally gives me the mental image of having a massive, implacable but fierce bodyguard protecting me.

    • Olfactoria says:

      That sounds like something I cold use for myself too now and again. Will try it, thank you Nancy!

      • mridula says:

        Oh yes. Jeke. But also a couple of other Slumber house scents. Baque with its apricot note has perhaps the sunshine of an orange without the sharpness and the rounded feel of a gourmand without the hurts your teeth sweetness so many gourmand perfumes have. I love Baque. very comforting and in tonality somewhat similar to the house’s award winning Pear and Olive. Both are like hugs or maybe like promises of a better day. Pear and Olive is maybe a little mealancholy though, as the better day comes with memories of the past.

  12. ringthing says:

    I’m sorry for your friend; the heart is fragile but also resilient. I suggest my beloved Shalimar in edc form, with that comforting lemon and vanilla combination followed by the lighter base for strength. If she is a rose lover, Nahema serves a similar purpose, with Tauer Une Rose Chypree as a follow up when that good strong “I can do this” vibe sets in. Nothing like a boss rose for attitude! Chanel 19 is a great choice too.

  13. Tora says:

    That is a difficult question. I am sad for your friend, and send her my best wishes. I lean a bit towards a break from scents, at least anything in her perfume repertoire that she wore with her ex. And I concur with Nana regarding orange, or neroli or bergamot. All are very uplifting. When I am sad, I wear an oil I made of Neroli, Bergamot, and Sandalwood. Cheery and grounding.

  14. Sorry about your friend’s broken heart. Tara is right that rose is good for women and hearts – so Rose 31 from Le Labo. Sandalwood is good because it goes straight to the soul – Sandalo from Lorenzo Villoresi is superb. For a good night’s sleep – Saffran Troublant from L’Artisan sprayed on the pillow works a treat: it’s milky and vanillary and hugely comforting. But then sometimes you need a little uplifting and to realise that the sun does shine whatever happens – a bright and breezy cologne from L’Occitane like Citrus Verbena Summer Fragrance should put a spring in her step.

    • Olfactoria says:

      Hello dear Lila,
      Safran Troublant to sleep indeed works wonders, thanks for reminding me.
      I will check out the L’Occitane, it sounds like a perfect mood lifter and my friend loves their body products.

  15. Annina says:

    I’m so sorry for your friend, I know heartache well. I wish her comfort and peace.

    For a comforting scent, I would vote for SSS Jour Ensolielle. Probably not a shock, coming from me! It’s cozy, sunny, and warm. But your friend might also be comforted and find strength in feeling sexy! ELdO Vraie Blonde is sexy armor – but is sexy in a tight, cream-colored mohair sweater sort of way. Sexy wrapped in softness.

    I would also suggest a new lipstick – preferably red. When my beloved ex left me, the best revenge was for him to see me looking strong and sexy – red lips can also be armor. And they may attract one of those “other fish in the sea!”

    • Olfactoria says:

      Thank you or your kind words, Annina!

      A new lipstick is a fantastic suggestion. A beauty-centered shopping trip will be something she will want to do.

  16. Cybele says:

    I was thinking about this question myself some time ago. The scent to stand up tall for me is unbeatable Vetiver Pour Elle but I also find Infusion Iris Absolue very confident. For comfort:
    Musc Ravageur Oil, Osmanthe Yunnnan, What we do in Paris, Love By Kilian, Kenzo Flower.
    Also, after shower oils by Weleda or Hauschka are purifying and strengthening.

  17. Suzanne says:

    I very much feel for your friend and hope that her heart is on the men soon. To me, the best thing to get over a broken heart is to put something exciting in the future – a trip with friends, a workshop in something fun like photography, dancing, painting.

    As for fragrance, I think something with musk is very comforting to heal a broken heart. Muscs Koublai Khan is that way for me (because I don’t find it the animalic beast others do at all). Also, Birgit, I never thought I would say this, but I’m starting to crave your Hemes Ambre des Merveilles now (I have a decant) and that one is a lovely comfort.

  18. Suzanne says:

    Oh man, count on me to do a dumb typo … that’s supposed to be “on the mend,” of course … not on the men. 🙂

  19. Dionne says:

    I had a conversation about this with a dear friend just a couple of weeks ago. She’d asked me a while ago to see if we could find something she could wear that wouldn’t trigger her husband’s allergies, and it ended up being Heure Exquise. Except said husband walked out without warning, and she’s devastated. I invited her to come over and find something new just for herself. “If you want comforting, I have those kinds of perfumes. If you want something to feel pretty, that’s also a possibility. I’ve also got perfumes that are like armor, that are sexy, that are happy. And frankly, if you feel like smelling b*tchy, I’ve got those too. And if it ends up making him sneeze like crazy…… well, that’s just a bonus.” Knowing how much she loves the BWF’s, we’ll likely go that route.

    For me, comforting is Ambre Fétiche, pretty is Par Amour Toujours, armor is Infusion d’Iris, sexy is Black Cashmere, happy is Pulp, and bad-ass is Silences. Your mileage may vary.

  20. When that sad event happened to me the fragrance I chose was Opium. It reminded me of a scent that my father wore and since he had recently passed away, it seemed to bring his presence back. Lolita Lempicka’s “L” is also very comforting as well as Mona’s Musc.

  21. shellyw says:

    I think the best advice I had about helping people was from my twin sister. She hated when people would call and say what can I do to help. It was one more decision she had no energy or trust in herself to make. She really appreciated when people just did something, a specific action. So, giving her a scent, whatever you chose is something concrete and that might be enough.

  22. In my opinion, the fragrance she needs right now is one that she already has an association with–the one her mother wore, or her favored aunt, or even her father’s cologne. Or her best friend. Whatever it is, when she smells it she is reminded of her own loveliness, of the people who love her and appreciate her. The scents recommended are all fantastic, but they are unknown to her. A spritz of Chanel #5, Shalimar, L’Heure Bleu, or whatever fragrance is representative of the enduring beauty and strength of the women she knows and loves, will envelop her in the comfort of people who would have their arms around her, make her laugh and remind her that she is exceptional and wonderful and the man who does not know that, is not the man for her!

  23. Ambre Narguile for confort, Puredistance Antonia to regain her sense of dignity and Amouage Lyric to feel beautiful again.


  24. I’m sorry for your friend, Birgit! As for a suggestion? I guess it would depend on where she is in her healing process. At the end of any relationship, I feel like emotions are so jumbled up that you can feel sad, liberated, angry, and lonely all at once. Perhaps the only thing I would recommend is to maybe find fragrances that don’t have great longevity. That way, if she begins to feel another emotion, she won’t be frustrated by a scent that lasts and lasts.

    I will agree with Tora though that she should put any fragrances that remind her of her time with her ex to the side (or do what I do and entrust them to a good friend with the instruction to give them to only back when they feel like you’re ready to smell/wear them again).

  25. Anything with vanilla, chocolate or coffee conforts me, but to calm down I need some neroli or something with orange.

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