Another Birthday Boy!

My baby boy Nikolaus turns one today.
One year that has passed in a flash.

With my first child, Paul, I couldn’t wait for him to grow, to get older and yet it seemed to take forever, I was under the false impression that I would have a baby forever.

With Niki time flies, it seems he was just born a few days ago, yet here he is, making his first steps, grinning broadly at me and clapping his pudgy little hands in delighted appreciation of his own growing prowess.

That Niki is my second child automatically means he never got the same attention that Paul enjoyed, nor the same amount of time or the same sense of wonder. But he gets a calmer mother, a more relaxed and more tolerant mother not nearly as critical or worried (and worrisome) as the mother Paul knows.

Niki is also my last child, there is no more next time. A fact of that I am painfully aware, but that makes me cherish every moment so much more. I am not impatiently waiting for the next step in his development, not hoping for this to change or that to pass, I just enjoy him as he is right now, and he thanks me by being the most relaxed, loveable and calm baby imaginable.
Nothing prepares you for being a mother and the experience is a different one with every child.
It is the incredible love for your child that changes you forever.

Thank you, Niki, for being the perfect little person that you are. Thank you for letting me watch you grow and help you wherever you need me.

I love you.


Picture: Niki, one year old

About Olfactoria

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18 Responses to Another Birthday Boy!

  1. Ines says:

    Happy birthday to little Niki! 🙂
    You have a little Aquarius boy – my horoscope compatriot.

    The picture is wonderful! Brought an instant smile to my face.

  2. Tara says:

    Oh dear, your post made me shed a tear! What a soppy dope I am. Your Niki is just ADORABLE. How blessed you are.

    Interesting to hear that you have achieved a state of “Zen mothering” with your second child. How lovely. Many happy returns to Nikolaus and hope you all enjoy the rest of your day.

    • Olfactoria says:

      I shed a tear or many too when writing this, that makes two sappy dopes out of us! 😉
      About the “zen-mothering”, I couldn’t be farther from such a state, my older son makes me lose my nerves three times a day, it is primarily Niki’s sweet nature that lets me be calm with him.

  3. bloody frida says:

    Oh what an adorable wee one!

    Being a mother is a glorious thing! (my only child, my son, will be 23 soon – I get so teary-eyed remembering him at younger ages, and many times wishing I could go back to those times again!)

  4. deeHowe says:

    He’s so beautiful! Happy birthday to the little guy!

    … there goes my ticking clock again. 😉

  5. Victoria says:

    Happy Birthday to the little one! I just love this picture, a smiling cherub. 🙂
    Your post made me misty-eyed, that bittersweetness that you share is familiar to me in many contexts (albeit not this particular one, or perhaps, not yet.) I am just giving you a big hug in my mind.

    • Olfactoria says:

      Thanks, I needed that hug. 🙂 This day is really bittersweet for me, I feel myself going back and forth between longing for the past and eagerly anticipating the future. The solution – to simply enjoy the present – seems elusive and not so simple after all.

  6. “Joyeux Anniversaire” Niki and congratulations to the Relaxed Mum !

    • Olfactoria says:

      Thank you, Celine! Sadly the calmness does not extend to other areas of my life, there I am still quite confused and stressed out. It is Niki who is the calm one, probably 😉

  7. Marina says:

    Oh my goodness, he is so cute, a smiley little angel! I teared up a little, can relate on so many levels to what you wrote.

    Congratulation on your fabulous boy(s)! 🙂

  8. JoanElaine says:

    Oh my, that smile! Those cheeks! Those hands! What a beautiful baby boy. Happy birthday, little guy!

    I hope you both had a wonderful day.

  9. Vintage Lady says:

    What a Precious little boy! Happy Birthday!

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